They’re finishing high school soon, they have no plan to attend post-secondary school, and they don’t have a job. You’re concerned that they’re spending too much time either playing video games online with their ‘friends’, or endless hours texting, instagraming, snapchatting, or on some other social media app. You fear that they will become a member of that club of not-quite-grown-ups that never leave home and will live in your basement forever.
What to do about this depends so much on how you understand this problem. Consider these aspects:
Kids today can graduate with only four years of high school and are often short on maturity when they become faced with being an adult.
Kids today are spending much more time in front of a screen and typing to friends, and not so much time with others. This is leading to fewer social skills, and higher anxiety about being an adult. Taking a job where they have to interact with so many new people can be overwhelming.
The job market is not what it was when we were young. University grads are working minimum wage jobs and job security is becoming obsolete. And, recognize that there are many more directions to choose from than ever before, with the huge rise in internet and technology related jobs that most of us can’t even comprehend.
And let’s look at our role. This generation of parents has frequently been busy trying to give our kids everything that we didn’t have, which in my opinion, is resulting in a generation of entitled youth. If they haven’t had to work for what they wanted growing up, they may have limited experience with the concept of earning their way.
So let’s recognize that making that leap from the nest is not so easy as it used to be. They’ll benefit from our increased patience, our support and encouragement, and especially a recognition that it’s a scary process for them. Even more important than talking to our youth, is listening. Sometimes, if we give them a chance, they may have ideas, unique ways to move forward, that just need us to slow down, and nurture them along.
Submitted by Paul Young, Young Solutions Family Counselling, Centre Wellington
